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Try This Way

April 2, 2013 by  
Filed under Julie Davidson

by Mommy MD Guides blogger Julie Davidson

I’m not a prude. But I kinda think that unless invited, people should stay out of your bedroom: figuratively and literally.

But who listens to that, especially when people find out you’re trying to get pregnant. Sure it makes sense to start eating healthy and to quit smoking..

I don’t know where these people come from, but there will not be a shortage of advice-givers suggesting what to wear. During baby-making sessions. Seriously? If you’re trying to get knocked up, you don’t need to wear anything. I was on a mission and didn’t need things like hooks, zippers, and ties getting in the way. That sexy lingerie was at the bottom of the drawer, collecting dust near the socks with the holes in them.

Oh, the other end of the spectrum? The buttinskis who want to talk the mechanics of sex. C’mon people. I took health class in high school, read plenty of smutty romance novels, and had the premium cable movie channels.

Okay, it makes total sense that timing goes into getting pregnant. The whole ovulation thing pretty much demands that. But then people chime in about positions. No, not positions like in baseball or soccer. You know, the sexual kind. If you try this, you’ll increase your chances of having a boy. Or, you’ll be more likely to have a girl if you do it this way.

Okay, so let me get this straight. The egg and sperm are divided into groups that get called up based on the position their host body is in? Very interesting. I was told that if a woman is on top, that makes it more likely to create a girl. Hmm. So what if positions change at the very last second? Do the sperm quickly stop where they were headed and call for backup? Like changing your breakfast order 10 minutes after your server has put it through to the kitchen.

And somewhere along the line, I was told that getting my legs up in the air would be a good way to secure the sperm in place. Hey, why not just have a sandwich bag taped over my lady part afterward? Of course, after my husband and I exhaust half the positions in the Kama Sutra. I mean one of those positions has gotta be a guarantee for a genius. Or an alien baby, right?

Was It Something I Ate?

March 26, 2013 by  
Filed under Julie Davidson

by Mommy MD Guides blogger Julie Davidson

Did you ever have too much to drink? The kind of overdoing it that has you huddled over a toilet bowl, hanging on for dear life? That brings the phrase “gut wrenching” to a whole new level. It also brings out promises to yourself to never drink like that again. Ever. Even if your friends swear what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Or maybe you were just plain unlucky and ate a quick lunch at one of those street vendors parked along the curbside. The ones that are in a truck so small they likely don’t have refrigeration, or a sink, or more than one cook. The one you ordered from the same day you had stomach pain so bad you left work two hours early.

Remember the last time you had the stomach flu? With an empty ice cream pail at your side, you vowed not to eat a thing for at least a week.

Those situations are uncomfortable, but at least you know that they will be short-lived. Within a few days or so, you’ll feel human again, and that discomfort will fade in your memory. With morning sickness, you can’t be sure. Well, yes, you’ll still be human, but just how long it will last and how you’ll get through it can vary.

Fergie, the lead singer for the Black Eyed Peas, said in an interview on Good Morning America that it was her intent to take a natural approach during pregnancy. She found that acupuncture and Chinese herbs helped with morning sickness. I found that McDonald’s bacon egg and cheese biscuits helped.

I never had the oh my goodness I’m going to be sick the rest of my life kind of morning sickness. But many women do have morning sickness that is intense and sometimes lasts beyond the first trimester.

Pregnancy is more uncomfortable when you feel ill for long periods of time. You could start to feel like your whole nine months of carrying your baby is overshadowed by being what might feel like a permanent state of nausea. It could start to feel believable that your body is being possessed by demons. But it will go away. Just like after the girls weekend in Vegas. And takeout from the food truck guy. And last year’s stomach bug. Plus, this time you’ll have a lot more to show for it. Instead of pictures of you face-to-face with a porcelain fixture, you’ll be face-to-face with a beautiful, chubby-cheeked baby.

Over the Moon, Baby

February 7, 2013 by  
Filed under Julie Davidson

by Mommy MD Guides blogger Julie Davidson

Add this to the list of “Why didn’t anyone tell me?” Okay, so most of us have heard of whooping it up for out-of-town bachelorette parties, destination weddings, and honeymoons. And if you were lucky, you convinced your parents to let you pack the family van full of underage high-school girlfriends and head to Florida for spring break. And now there are babymoons! No, not moons in the shape of an infant. Nope. Babymoons are getaways that expecting couples take for some R&R and pampering. Sort of like one last trip without kids underfoot.

I’ll bet you can think of a million reasons not to take a babymoon. For starters, the cost. Hate to break it to you, but as soon as you decide to have kids, you take an oath of poverty. Maybe you won’t be broke, but kids (with the exception of Justin Beiber, Honey Boo Boo, and any of the Kardashian clan) won’t make you richer.

Or maybe you don’t think you can afford the time away. Once you add kids to the mix, you always have a time deficit. Parents are constantly blowing things off to squeeze something else in. Just think of a babymoon as your first attempt to test your time-squeezing skills.

So it could come down to the fact that you don’t want to be far from your doctor. Totally understandable. But lots of cities have lots of doctors. Granted, hearing the simultaneous high-pitched ring of slot machines in Vegas or a live Mariachi band tableside in Guadalajara during your first trimester doesn’t sound all that appealing. But what’s to say you have to go far away? The idea is to go somewhere and just enjoy each other. Like on your honeymoon. Unless you had a major spat in the hotel lobby—then not like the honeymoon.

And there’s the guilt-ridden who won’t take a trip because it seems too self-indulgent. Run the numbers. One kid alone could easily have you changing more than 3,000 diapers (don’t dispute it, I’m trying to help you here), missing more than 100 hours of sleep, and driving more than 10,000 miles before they turn 18. Still feel guilty?

No worries. You will still take trips once your baby arrives. To Wal-Mart, the grocery store, the pediatrician, the park, playgroup, any drive-thru you can find, the zoo, the bouncy house, and day care. Sure, you’ll be able to take a trip without kids again. Just as soon as they turn 18. And you’re done paying for their braces. And the house. And out of state college tuition. And the van that broke down on their trip to Florida for spring break. Your bags are packed, right?

Say Cheese

January 30, 2013 by  
Filed under Julie Davidson

by Mommy MD Guides blogger Julie Davidson

Demi Moore, Cindy Crawford, Britney Spears, and Christina Aguilara. Celebrities are just like us, right? Okay, they’re all women. And they’ve all had babies. And they all posed nude while pregnant. So much for the list of similarities.

No one asked me to pose nude when I was pregnant. I’m not pregnant now, but sadly, I have a belly. So where’s the sexy? Who took the sexy? Now take a look at a semi-naked pregnant woman. I mean if the occasion presents itself. There’s something striking and sexy about it. Okay, maybe it’s just the fact that she isn’t wearing any clothes. Or maybe it’s because it’s not the kind of naked like on a naughty website kind of naked.

It could be the attitude that makes it easier to be photographed without clothes on. I don’t know where it comes from, but it seems like you have a boost in confidence when you get pregnant. It starts out like Ahhh yes, I’m going to be somebody’s mom. By the eighth month, it feels a bit more like, Yeah, I’m gonna be a mom, and you’re not the boss of me!

Of course it’s entirely possible that women bare their bods when they’re expecting because it’s virtually the only time you can get away with it. It’s no big secret that pregnant women get a pass on things. From opening doors to giving up good seats, people tend to dote on women who are obviously pregnant. So perhaps the thinking is She’s carrying a baby—give her what she wants.

There’s also the possibility that hormones make you do it. Oh please, we blame everything from PMS to poor diet to menopause on them, so why not bare belly shots too? It would be totally acceptable to credit your hormones for keeping you in a perpetual state of euphoria. Those little buggers might very well be in there telling you that you can and should do anything.

I bet if you ask anyone who’s had kids if they struck a nudie preggers pose in front of their mirror fresh after a shower, they’d say yes. We’re women. We turn our feet almost full circle in the mirror when we try on shoes! It’s part of our routine to look at our boobs, butts, and bellies. Being pregnant gives us that much more of them to look at.

And really, no worries if People magazine doesn’t ask you to pose for them. There’re lots of people who’ll see you naked during delivery.

The Path More Traveled

October 24, 2012 by  
Filed under Julie Davidson

by Mommy MD Guides blogger Julie Davidson

As I write this latest entry, I think about how pregnancy and birth are daunting. But my thoughts were interrupted by the news coverage about a guy on TV in a spacesuit freefalling!  All in effort to break the sound barrier. Introducing Felix Baumgartner, who was the first person to jump from 24 miles up.  There is very little air at that height. And no one to catch you.  And who knows exactly where you will land after your tumble through the sky.  Now that takes daunting to a whole new level.

But still, pregnancy and birth are daunting.  Maybe because of all the unknowns.  Before you’re pregnant, so much of life is predictable. When you leave for work, you know there’s a good chance that traffic will be a headache.  And that when you get to work you’ll get the parking space furthest from the door, and before you get a cup of coffee you’ll learn the client that was not satisfied yesterday is just as miserable today. After work, while strolling down the snack aisle, it’s entirely possible that although there are eight Orville Redenbacher’s flavors, but the store will have run out of the kind you like.

After you get pregnant, suddenly life becomes unpredictable. Pregnancy symptoms come and go. Because pregnancy involves your body, you can get the feeling of being trapped by certain circumstances for the entire pregnancy.  Nine months is a long time to feel nauseous. And to be growing.  And to have bizarre food cravings. You start to wonder: Will you have a boy or a girl? How will the birth go? And don’t even start trying to predict what motherhood will be like!

But one way to be more calm when thinking about having a child is to look at how many people there are in the world.  If pregnancy and birth were that difficult, no one would do it.  Okay, maybe some people would do it once, but lots of people do it over and over. How bad could it be if they keep doing it?

Felix Baumgartner got from space to the ground in about six minutes.  But he was in uncharted territory. Yes, you can expect to be pregnant for nine months, but at least you’ll be in the company of what, like six and a half billion other people? You won’t be in a stuffy spacesuit. No breaking the sound barrier.  The only thing you have to break is your water.  And you can get help with that.

Don’t Let a Baby Bump Stop You!

October 19, 2012 by  
Filed under Julie Davidson

by Mommy MD Guides blogger Julie Davidson

It’s kind of amazing at what you can do while pregnant. Shame on me for underestimating what you could do while housing another being inside your body. Because it’s not uncommon to stay home if you get a cold or the flu, right?  And one ill-placed pimple can make you think twice about leaving the house. So the idea of carrying on as usual with something growing inside just seems even more remarkable.

During pregnancy, you’re sort of a like a machine. Copiers and cars are machines. But even machines need a rest. I can’t begin to count how many times I’ve jammed up the copy machine at work, only to try and fix it and make things even worse. And on one occasion, an auto mechanic kindly reminded me, “You really shouldn’t wait 8,000 miles to get your oil changed.”  See? Machines break down.  They need upkeep.  Being pregnant can bring on concern of not being able to take care of things.

So what are your choices?  I used to think it would be best just to avoid doing anything that was already difficult. I mean being with child wasn’t going to make it easier, was it?  Maybe you could just stop working.

Here is a sample letter you could forward to your boss:

Dear boss,

You may have already witnessed the fact that I am an emotional rollercoaster and could break down at anytime. I am unable to stay awake past 1:00 in the afternoon, and my bed is so much more comfy than that cold cubicle.  And I’m getting granny ankles, so instead of having the skin of my feet ooze over the sides of my office-appropriate footwear, I’m opting for slippers. And from what I understand, in a few months my midsection will protrude even more, and I won’t be able to belly up (literally) to my desk.  I would hate to get stuck and have the dude in maintenance have to try to get me out of there.  So I’m taking off the next nine months.  ‘K? Bye!

So there is a chance that if you wrote that letter you’d get a whole lot more than nine months off.  Perhaps you could wear a medallion that read, “I am pregnant.  Please speak nicely to me.  I will not be offended by offers of food.  Or money.  If the line is long, please let me cut in.  Proceed with caution.”

But before you panic and fire off letters of resignation or wear a billboard around town, consider that every day women are pregnant and keep on doing what they normally do.  Like US women’s volleyball player Kerri Walsh Jennings.  She played in the Olympics while she was pregnant.  I can’t even get the ball over the net when I’m not pregnant.  QVC host, Cassie Slane fainted while on camera. And they kept rolling film. Marissa Mayer took over duties as CEO of Yahoo when she was about six months pregnant.

So give it a try. Scoot your chair as close as you can to your desk.  And know that throughout the universe are other moms-to-be trudging forward. When it gets really rough, go ahead wear your favorite fuzzy slippers to work.

The information on MommyMDGuides.com is not intended to replace the diagnosis, treatment, and services of a physician. Always consult your physician or child care expert if you have any questions concerning your family's health. For severe or life-threatening conditions, seek immediate medical attention.