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Unwanted Advice

I’m in my third trimester and really showing, People keep telling me horror stories and giving me advice. How did you cope with this?

Our Mommy MD Guide’s reply:  One of my pet peeves is that people with no knowledge or training think that they’re parenting experts just because they’ve reproduced. When you’re pregnant, these folks delight in telling you what’s wrong with you.

One of my patients, a trial attorney no less, came to my office in tears because an old lady told her she was carrying her baby too low. I asked, “Where did this woman get her medical degree?”

This happens to everyone, even doctors. My mom told me not to raise my hands above my head because the baby would strangle. I laughed, “Mom, I’ve been in there, and it’s not attached. It’s ok.”

When people give you unsolicited advice, feel free to blurt out the rudest thing you can think of. Then blame it on the pregnancy hormones.

Also, like no other time in life, when you’re pregnant people want to tell you scary stories. People would come up to me and talk about their labor, or their friend or family member’s labor, that went terribly wrong.

The truth is most pregnancies and labors are uneventful. But no one’s going to tell you that because it’s not a good story. The births with high drama are they ones everyone talks about. “Happy healthy woman delivers happy healthy baby” does not sell newspapers. Ignore the stories and advice. as best you can.

Ellen Kruger, MD, a mom of two teenagers and an ob/gyn in an academic and clinical practice in New Orleans, LA, with Ochsner Health System, a non-profit, academic, multi-specialty, healthcare delivery system dedicated to patient care, research and education 

The information on MommyMDGuides.com is not intended to replace the diagnosis, treatment, and services of a physician. Always consult your physician or child care expert if you have any questions concerning your family's health. For severe or life-threatening conditions, seek immediate medical attention.